There is a school of thought which suggests society shifted
from matriarchy to patriarchy when men figured out they had a hand in
conception. Well, it really wasn’t a
hand in the matter, but you get my point.
Etymologically, according to the OED, the word matriarchy is
first attested in 1885, building on an earlier matriarch, formed in analogy to
patriarch, already in use in the early 17th century
To be clear, I don’t feel that women are superior to
men. What I do hope for is equality in
many realms, one of them being open sexual expression without negative judgment
from peer and society.
As a young woman, I was given the silent treatment for a
month by my father; he had noticed a love bite on my neck, and he felt the cold
shoulder would punish me. My brother on
the other hand, could bring girls home to have loud trysts with them; once
during family dinner, headboard Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Banging away on the dining
room wall. Boys will be boys, you know.
Celts, which had settled all over Europe by 400BC, display a
history that the power of women was reflected not only in myth and legend but
in legal codes pertaining to marriage, divorce, property ownership, and the
right to rule. Neither virginity nor
being chaste was a determining factor in her civil rights or her worth; it was
enough to be a female member of society.
Consider all the aeons which have passed and we find
ourselves in 2013, where hymenoplasty (Hymenorrhaphy) or hymen reconstruction
surgery can be purchased all over the globe for about $3000US, so women can
continue to satisfy and placate men who believe only a virgin has worth and is
worthy of loving.
My mother needed a hysterectomy in the late 1980’s for
medical purposes, even though her uterus has prolapsed by the point; she still
needed a “permission slip” from my father before the Catholic doctor would
operate. Can you imagine the uproar if a
man needed permission from his partner for a vasectomy?
Women in certain Middle Eastern societies and some Orthodox
Jewish cultures are still considered chattel; chattel status is modified at
times to only include sexual and reproductive rights that are owned by
husbands.
More so than ever before, young women are overtly sexualized
in the media, fashion, and in advertising.
In 2011, Prada used a 13 year old model in a sensual 80 second preview
of their fall/winter collection and we’ve all been assaulted at some point with
“Toddlers & Tiaras”. Have you been
shopping in a children’s clothing department lately? The next time you’re in a convenient place to
do so, make a visual comparison between the styling of boy’s and girl’s
clothing. I believe you’ll be
surprised.
Currently, in radio public service announcements before prom
season, young women are encouraged to abstain from sex. No mention of young men or a recommendation
for men to refrain is ever made.
So what are young women being shown and told? To dress provocatively but also to remain
chaste; isn’t that a mixed message? Or,
is everything ok as long as you’re a woman conforming to “traditional” male
desires?
Here’s part of a dialog with a 27-year old straight male
submissive from San Francisco
who e-mailed me recently.
trancemusic40 on 1/16/13 at 12:18 AM: You really want me to share with you the
thoughts I’ve been jacking off to while I was looking at your pictures? Well it's going to sound silly if I tell you.
LadyJustice: You
brought it up, and I asked because I was curious. I’m not seeking to judge and I most likely
won’t be scandalized.
trancemusic40 on 1/16/13 at 12:28 AM: Well... Don't be offended please. Just
laugh. I really want to massage your calves. They look so nice.
I have jacked off twice to your pics so far. The first time was
imagining you covered in baby oil bending me over in front of a room full of
people. The second time was very soon after so I needed more to cum.
And I imagined you sucking a big black cock. To illustrate to me what a
total woman you are and to humiliate me. Staring me in the eyes while you did so.
LadyJustice: Well, I
see….. LOL. You’ve cum twice already… since 11:45?
trancemusic40 on 1/16/13 at 12:35 AM: Yes! I haven't a lot of discipline when
I get caught up into a woman. My only consoling thought is that I am not
predatory. I am driven my submissive compulsions. And thank God for that
because I would not want to be a destructive horndog you know?
LadyJustice: Ok,
we’ve determined you’re a horndog. What
else do you like people to know about you?
trancemusic40 on 1/16/13 at 12:35 AM: I like cuddling too. I like spending
time with somebody I love. Spiritually
speaking, I need to be spending my time with a woman that is smart. It is very
important to me to be with a woman that knows what makes her happy and isn't
living a life filled with conflict or heavy drug dependency, anything like
that.
Sexually speaking, I need discipline and I need to be locked
up in a chastity device. I need to be under a strong woman's
control. I like being a bit of a wolf.
You know how gay dudes can do the bear thing or whatever. I would
like to be a bit like that but you know. Not gay. haha. I guess I am turned on by being masculine but
feeling slightly spent, in a feminine way. Like greased and sensual. I
dunno. Vulnerable. I like the sides and back of my head to be buzzed up
like they are right now too. Like a butch thing I guess.
I also love your butt and your calves and your hair.
And your face. I want to curl up
to you tonight. I'd be like a pathetic
yippity dog next to you. Whatever you
wanted.
LadyJustice: Thanks
for sharing more. Some interesting
thoughts and… cuddling is good! But, California is some
distance away. Are you ever in or
relocating to Ohio?
trancemusic40 on 1/17/13 at 2:08 AM: Well… you have a primary partner already?
I dunno. Ohio. I do want you though. I want you
terribly. Want to smell you.
LadyJustice: Yes, as
I shared earlier, I am polyamorous woman.
There are people in my life whom I love and who are not going
anywhere. Wait a minute…LOL… I thought
you were fantasizing about sexual situations involving me and multiple men?
trancemusic40 on 1/17/13 at 2:13 AM; I wouldn't give up my life to just be one of
your guys. I mean, what if your partner had a problem with me?
Where would I sleep?
The thought of being in a cuckold relationship with you as
your primary partner is appealing.
Such is life though, I guess.
I’m not saying that trancemusic40 (not his exact screen name) is a bad guy, or that he’s
ignorant. Some of his comments scratched
the intelligent surface and I believe from the way he words things, he’s a
smart guy. I’m wondering though if he’s
ever fully considered his views on modern, dominant women who are sexually
progressive and choose to define what works for them. Even if it’s not necessarily what a man might
traditionally idealize.
I wonder if what he verbalized displayed genuine confusion
about his own fantasies, or a disappointing, surprisingly common tendency for
some modern men to still believe they can/should control a woman’s
sexuality.
Early on in the conversation he commented he wanted me
covered in baby oil “bending him over" in front of a room full of people
and then for me to fellate a “BBC” while I stare him in the face. I don’t judge his fantasies; we all have
them. But when I attempted to guide the
chat back to notions of reality in regards to knowing each other: location, my needs, dynamic, etc… he is
reminded I am in a relationship, but he “dunno”. He says, “I wouldn't give up my life to just
be one of your guys.”
It was ok for me to be with multiple unknown sexual partners
when it came to his desires, but thoughts of entering into a polyamorous
relationship, seemed to inspire an instant deal breaker. He even went as far as to suggest it would be
appealing for me to leave my loving relationships, to enter into a new
relationship with him where he would be cuckolded. His scenario = his control. You might be surprised to learn this
perspective is common with submissive men.
From what I have gathered over the years, it’s more natural for them to
envision locking a dominant woman into a white picket fence fantasy, or to be
perfectly content with cheating on their significant other with said
dominant. Yes, cheating is acceptable,
but being with a woman involved with more than one man intimately isn’t.
In unsolicited e-mails from heterosexual submissive males
(and dominant males), I’ve been chastised for being polyamorous, and been
accused of not being able to love.
Surely I am flawed and lacking because I cannot choose monogamy and enjoy
sexual intimacy with just one.
Individuals from GLBT and leather/BDSM, etc…subcultures can
even view women like me in a negative, skewed fashion. Once a dear friend and fantastic bootblack,
Gabriel, sought to introduce another bootblack friend of his, “HJ” (who is a
gay man) to me at an event; Gabriel made the introductions and commented he was
surprised we had not made each other’s acquaintance yet. “HJ’s” first words to me were, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh,
you’re the one that fucks all the hot guys.”
How does one respond to that politely during an
introduction? Poor Gabriel was
mortified. Goddess bless my
Mexican-American homie, JC, for his quick witted reply of, “Only the hot Latin
ones!!!!”
I’m going to let everyone in on a little secret here.
I’ve been sexually intimate with three men in the past
year.
That’s it…. just three.
There’s a picture of the three of them together on facebook. You’ll have to figure that one out for
yourselves though.
Right now, I am involved in separate relationships with two
amazing men whom I respect, love, and cherish…. just two. (I’ll be writing more on polyamory
soon.)
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