I know the moral of the story usually comes at the end, but in
the current spirit of instant gratification, I won’t make you wait.
Always be open to honest and frank conversations with loved ones. If you’re not, you’ll never fully realize potential for what you could experience and share.
It was a Saturday on a cold weekend in January. I was sharing time with my lover and we were talking about relationships: hopes, past disappointments, random thoughts, and other related topics. When he muses, “You know, you’re really good...”
I cock my head to the left quizzically and reply, “At what?”
He smiles and says, “Oral sex. Deep throat. Did you ever talk to anyone about that? You’re really amazing.”
Fellatio and irrumatio* has always been a major part of our sex life; I love giving him that pleasure, and he loves it. It’s a rare occasion when he lies back to only receive gracefully. More often than not, he’s moaning, occasionally cursing, spitting in my mouth, fucking my face, and exploring new ways and positions to experience every bit of my mouth and throat.
And, I love it.
My dominant nature has not magically changed overnight; I’m still me in all the ways you have experienced. This is perhaps an aspect you just didn’t consider.
The conversation continued. Our mutual affirmation of shared pleasure of his cock in my mouth was the catalyst for explorations we couldn’t have imagined.
This past December, I asked him if he would be open to recording me going down on him. I wanted to see what we looked like from a different perspective. It was only the second time I had been captured in moments of sexual intimacy on film, and it was hyper erotic to experience the sights and sounds from his perspective. We viewed it after our encounter had concluded, both aroused at watching.
Fast forward to January, it’s after midnight. The Saturday referred to earlier has become Super Bowl Sunday. We’re cuddled up on the couch finishing a horror movie. My eyes are heavy lidded, I’ve become tired and ready for sweet slumber. I can’t remember exactly how the chain of events happened, but suddenly we’re no longer sleepy and he’s seeking out his digital camera. We recorded one episode of heated oral sex, then another, and another. He and I both knew what we loved, but we had not realized we both wanted this savagery. We would film, and then watch it, and become aroused again. You get the picture. We decided at 4:00 AM we should probably rehydrate and get some sleep.
Always be open to honest and frank conversations with loved ones. If you’re not, you’ll never fully realize potential for what you could experience and share.
It was a Saturday on a cold weekend in January. I was sharing time with my lover and we were talking about relationships: hopes, past disappointments, random thoughts, and other related topics. When he muses, “You know, you’re really good...”
I cock my head to the left quizzically and reply, “At what?”
He smiles and says, “Oral sex. Deep throat. Did you ever talk to anyone about that? You’re really amazing.”
Fellatio and irrumatio* has always been a major part of our sex life; I love giving him that pleasure, and he loves it. It’s a rare occasion when he lies back to only receive gracefully. More often than not, he’s moaning, occasionally cursing, spitting in my mouth, fucking my face, and exploring new ways and positions to experience every bit of my mouth and throat.
And, I love it.
My dominant nature has not magically changed overnight; I’m still me in all the ways you have experienced. This is perhaps an aspect you just didn’t consider.
The conversation continued. Our mutual affirmation of shared pleasure of his cock in my mouth was the catalyst for explorations we couldn’t have imagined.
This past December, I asked him if he would be open to recording me going down on him. I wanted to see what we looked like from a different perspective. It was only the second time I had been captured in moments of sexual intimacy on film, and it was hyper erotic to experience the sights and sounds from his perspective. We viewed it after our encounter had concluded, both aroused at watching.
Fast forward to January, it’s after midnight. The Saturday referred to earlier has become Super Bowl Sunday. We’re cuddled up on the couch finishing a horror movie. My eyes are heavy lidded, I’ve become tired and ready for sweet slumber. I can’t remember exactly how the chain of events happened, but suddenly we’re no longer sleepy and he’s seeking out his digital camera. We recorded one episode of heated oral sex, then another, and another. He and I both knew what we loved, but we had not realized we both wanted this savagery. We would film, and then watch it, and become aroused again. You get the picture. We decided at 4:00 AM we should probably rehydrate and get some sleep.
He and I awoke, about noon when his big black cat decided food and attention was much more important than our slumber. Even before coffee, we began plotting the potential course of oral adventures for the day.
Starting at 1:00PM, we recorded a multitude of oral sex exploits taking two small breaks to shower and eat. We began doing the things we do often as parts of our regular sex life. We’d play hard orally, watch what he had recorded; I’d end up dripping, him still rock hard and both ready to fuck. As the time passed, our explorations went to a deep and very new place after he dipped into his toy drawer to pull out a large ring gag. It’s hard to imagine becoming even more aroused, but we were. It was the best Super Bowl Sunday ever. At 10:00PM, desires were still high, but we stopped to cuddle on the couch and surf Netflix for another horror movie. We missed the game entirely.
If new explorations, experiencing each other and kinky toys in a new ways, and the sheer carnal depravity of what we were doing wasn’t thrilling enough, what put this over the top for me was the major level of intimacy, which came from so many levels of trust.
While we’re both kinky, I’m more dominant and he’s more submissive, our relationship is not one based in D/s. But as our play continued on into the weeks ahead, I was in the ring gag, then the ring gag and handcuffs, progressing all the way to major bondage. One fine night, I found myself helpless in a leather posture collar and fish hook gag, secured to the basement support pole with my hands cuffed behind my back and a heavy length of chain wound twice around my neck.
(I’ll give you a moment to clean up the cup of coffee you just now dropped or to bring your jaw back to its normal position. Yes, uber domly me, bound, cuffed, and being brutally throat fucked, at times my oxygen supply cut off to the point of darkness rapidly encroaching on my vision. And, I loved every second of it.)
We’ve been exploring this way since that time, at times we capture the encounter on digital, other times not. Sometimes, we enjoy the moment and let it live in memory alone. I often joke and tell him he gives multitasking filmmaker Robert Rodriguez a run for his money. I’m not sure if I could simultaneously be slam fucking someone, while I screw their throat with a dildo, and film it all for pleasure. He’s talented, that’s all I can say.
During play and between periods of gasping for breath before
his cock was shoved deeper into my open throat, I, at times, have brief moments
of cognitive thought.
“I’m dominant. What does this mean?”
“How will this effect our relationship?”
“I don’t like putting people in elaborate bondage. Isn’t it strange I’m enjoying being in it?”
“I’m dominant, but I’m glad I’m sitting on concrete or the carpet would be soaked.”
“What would people think of me if they knew? I don’t care. Fuck. I can’t breathe. I might lose consciousness soon, but I don’t really care. But I’m craving his thick cock back in my throat, right now.”
“I’m dominant. What does this mean?”
“How will this effect our relationship?”
“I don’t like putting people in elaborate bondage. Isn’t it strange I’m enjoying being in it?”
“I’m dominant, but I’m glad I’m sitting on concrete or the carpet would be soaked.”
“What would people think of me if they knew? I don’t care. Fuck. I can’t breathe. I might lose consciousness soon, but I don’t really care. But I’m craving his thick cock back in my throat, right now.”
We’ve been with each
other in many new ways since then, and up until now, our exploits had been
primarily kept within the family. When Micheal watched them he said,
“Those are fucking hot. I’d say they’re better than most of the porn I’ve
seen. I think you could sell them; they are that damn hot.”
The next time my lover and I were together I shared with him Michael had viewed the movies and told him what he said. And, another conversation was launched.
We discussed all the things, good and bad, which could come from opening up these recordings to the public. We both recognized the implications, and agreed what was most important was doing this for our mutual pleasure. We agreed that if either of us wanted to remove the clips from a hosting site, we would, with no hard feelings to the other.
So we set about the process of determining what we might want to share. Then editing, which took longer than initially expected; as we’d edit, then watch, and get excited, then…
The next time my lover and I were together I shared with him Michael had viewed the movies and told him what he said. And, another conversation was launched.
We discussed all the things, good and bad, which could come from opening up these recordings to the public. We both recognized the implications, and agreed what was most important was doing this for our mutual pleasure. We agreed that if either of us wanted to remove the clips from a hosting site, we would, with no hard feelings to the other.
So we set about the process of determining what we might want to share. Then editing, which took longer than initially expected; as we’d edit, then watch, and get excited, then…
During that time we investigated a host and began filing the
appropriate paperwork and being granted approval to upload some of our most
private moments to Clips 4 Sale. It was a Saturday night, late in the
evening, when we double checked how we each felt and our first videos were
uploaded and able to be viewed by people other than us. I was working the
PC; excited and hesitant, blushing visibly, giggling, but highly aroused.
Checking the heat radiating from my cheeks with his hands, he quietly smiled at
my reactions.
Our shared look was an unspoken affirmation enough. We’re officially pornographers now.
Our shared look was an unspoken affirmation enough. We’re officially pornographers now.
Sometimes I am still in awe of our bravery, and/or audacity.
I still giggle about it, and wonder how all of this will be
received by people who know me.
A few friends with inquisitive souls helped me gauge potential
reactions. I sent them sent a still from
one of the recordings to see how or if their perception of me had changed based
on the fairly graphic image. The intimates, who know me well, know well I
am not caged by traditional methods, but I wanted to get a feel to see if people
would judge me harshly for being a dominant engaging in what most would view as
“submissive” sex acts.
Leatherman Randy Carmenaty said, “My perception of you has always been someone secure and confident in herself. You exert it … instructions aren't required.” A close friend who has known me for a long time said, “It invokes the thoughts of a woman who is definitely the dominant type. Yes, she is currently sucking cock, but that doesn't mean that she is weak or submissive, to me this just instills the thoughts that the woman has a side of her that knows it's not all about her.”
Leatherman Randy Carmenaty said, “My perception of you has always been someone secure and confident in herself. You exert it … instructions aren't required.” A close friend who has known me for a long time said, “It invokes the thoughts of a woman who is definitely the dominant type. Yes, she is currently sucking cock, but that doesn't mean that she is weak or submissive, to me this just instills the thoughts that the woman has a side of her that knows it's not all about her.”
A Columbus-based kinky man noted, “The photo..
alluring yet classy, and definitely something truly intimate for the
imagination!! Made - me- purr! I really love it showing you in, from my
perspective, predatory mode!”
Another said, “You’re a woman who loves giving and receiving affection;
you’re a woman who isn't afraid of anything.”
New England leatherman Boss said, “Between
two people that know and care for each other it is one of the most powerful
ways to connect ( entering another person) as far as my reaction to you in that
picture. I'd have to say I think it's hot and totally fine that Tops get to
bottom with the correct person and does not in any way make them less of a top
but actually a better top - works for me!”
“I don't think that it changes my
perception of you at all. I still think that it shows a wildly erotic and
enticing woman who is in charge of what she is doing” is how experienced
leatherwoman, Paula Smith commented. A trusted friend, Chuck from Chicago offered
this insight, “For me, this provides a new way of seeing you both as a Dom, and
as a giving human creature of delight.”
Through much of these deliberations, I have been filled with
a feeling somewhere between trepidation and excitement to think of others having
a direct view into our sex life. I wondered
if these revelations would negatively affect my reputation as a
leatherwoman. As I mused more internally
and we discussed externally, I believed it would be entirely liberating to be
so extremely candid sexually.
The majority of the time I exist in a world of gay men, where
women’s sexuality can be extremely marginalized. Comments like, “Just one woman in the group changes the dynamic.” and “A woman’s energy affects
everything!!” reiterate the notion women
should diminish themselves so they don’t make waves.
In a community where natural, honest, sexuality is revered, at
times I’ve not been my own fullest sexual self, so the crowd around me would
not be more “affected”. Life’s too short
to be any less than what we are.
So, this is me.
I’m sure this is a “me-you-didn’t-know-about”, and neither
did I until recently. But, I’ve always
been a bit of an unintentional sexual terrorist and an explorer, and that is one
thing which has not changed.
Ansel Adams has been quoted as saying, “In wisdom gathered
over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.”
Keep exploring, explorers.
Or, by definition alone we cease to exist.
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