This small piece was written for last week's launch of e.Gay Magazine.
It does my heart well to see the community outpouring of support for transgender men, but I have to say I wonder when the same level of support will be behind the women who have earned a place in the leather community.
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The lone, and potentially uncomfortable, woman you take a
moment to say hello at a bar night to could be the next woman to make a huge
impact in the leather community.
I’m not talking about the obnoxious groups of bachelorettes
which occasionally pop into the bars, and just so you know, leather women
aren’t fans of them either. I’m
referring to the woman quietly observing, taking everything in, and hoping
someone makes eye contact with her.
Please don’t be tempted to shun her because of her gender,
or even to ridicule her based upon it.
You could probably put money on the fact she would have your back if
someone made a homophobic slur or tried to bash you leaving the bar
tonight.
All a man needs to be accepted with open arms into the
leather realm is a penis and a reasonably fair attitude. You recognize I’m being kind here; all you really
need is a penis. But a woman needs to be
brave, unafraid of work, dedicated, resilient, and able to hold her own…
without a penis.
She might not be able to be served at the bar, have a place
to empty her bladder, or afforded the same courtesy as the men there. She might be ignored totally or verbally
abused; I am not yet sure which is best for what she hopes to accomplish.
She might not own any leather yet, but look carefully and
try to see her for who she is and for the leatherwoman she could become.
All she wants is to be able to learn your ways, contribute
as she can, earn a place to stand shoulder to shoulder with you, and hopefully
be accepted for who she is.
She’s here in a man’s bar because she feels this is her
tribe; she’s on a journey with no map to find her way home… and wondering if
she will find a locked door when she arrives.
While I don’t know the exact stories of all leatherwomen, I know this is the common story of people whom are minorities in
some fashion.
I know the road is easier with people who love and accept
us. I’d like to say thank you to those
loved ones, friends and family, who have made my journey what it is and I am
sure these women feel the same.
No matter if you are a leatherman or a leatherwoman, we all
want the same things. Freedom of
expression and sexuality, equal rights, a space to call home, love, a cure for
HIV, happiness, stability, peace, and to get our freak on with the ones we
choose.
I wonder if we can do those things together without sex
being the almighty divider.
Love and Leather,
Lady Justice
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